A Modest Proposal Concerning the Environment Essay

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A Modest Proposal Concerning the Environment

* Based on Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” (1729).

It is a melancholy object to those who travel through this great country to see isolated corners of this fair realm still devoted to protecting the environment. The wretched advocators of these ideals are frequently seen doling out petitions and begging at their neighbours’ doors to feed their obsession, which keeps them in the contemptible poverty that they so richly deserve.

I think it is agreed by all parties that it is an eyesore to see these people blockading the roads to prime tree-cutting land and bombarding our most respectable government with impractical proposals. It is not so Herculean a task to
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According to the respectable acquaintance from the WWF whom I have aforementioned, more than 11 000 plant and animal species will be dead or dying in thirty years, worldwide. I reckon that it will do more good than harm to speed up the process of destroying these wildlife, for it will not only purge the world of the weaker species of life, but it will also generate billions for forward-thinking biotechnological companies such as Celera. With genetic modification studies well underway, we shall have a world teeming with manageable life forms that are of benefit to humankind. As this adheres to the sustainable development and quality of life ideals, let us back our governments in shunning the goals of the Kyoto Accord and the National Accord for the Protection of Species at Risk! It is, after all, not a matter of saving our politicians from embarrassment; rather, this makes sound economical and evolutionary sense. Moreover, the wealthier among us will do well to encourage poachers in their trades by purchasing their assortments of rare plants and furs.

I grant that the increase in greenhouse gases may be somewhat costly to us due to the price of air conditioning; however, warmer temperatures yield larger farm corps and Otto Warberg, a Nobel Prize winner in medicine, showed that decreasing the oxygen available to the tissues could cure cancer. In short, increasing the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere reaps immense

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